How my life became chaos

Book One in a series of Three

Kat is pregnant after only being with Max for 6 months. Running her own beauty salon, dealing with her depressed alcoholic father, fighting battles with Max’s mother and facing ex-girlfriends, Kat isn’t sure if having a baby is the right thing to do. Her life feels like one big mess, whatever decision she makes will change her life for ever.

50% of the profits go to the Hope for Holly Charity.





The laughter was the strongest memory of that afternoon. We giggled as we ran through the perfectly trimmed hedges of the maze while Mum and Dad followed our screams of excitement. This type of frolicking would usually have had me, a twelve-year-old, sitting on a bench, far too cool to join in such childishness. There was something about knowing I wouldnt bump into my school friends, and my parents enjoyment, that made the whole day different. I was relishing the fact that I was still a child. Libby was only six years old at the time, and pleasurably held my hand as we meandered round the densely grown hedges.

Mum had packed a bundle of sandwiches. We devoured our way through the mixture of ham, cheese and jam, picking at the plain-flavoured crisps, the pink, decorated cakes and the chocolate biscuits. The large red blanket allowed space for us all as we soaked up the glorious weather, appreciating the small breeze that cooled our clammy bodies.

Lampford Hall stood proudly at the top of the park but the Hall itself was not open to visitors. Lord and Lady Lampford had opened their delightful grounds to the public but wanted to keep their home private. A dwarf stone wall with wrought-iron railings separated the Hall from the gardens and three members of staff circled the magnificent place. The sandstone building gleamed elegantly in the sun as people stood outside the guarded area, taking photos which would allow them to savour the moment for ever.

We had listened to Mum tell a story about the fairies who lived in the magical Hall (for Libbys benefit, not mine, although I loved listening to her tales). Libby had been mesmerised as Mum told her they all have their own responsibilities. Libby, whod lost her first tooth the month before, concluded that the tooth fairy must have the most important job. Mum explained we couldnt go inside the magical Hall because if we saw the fairies the magic would disappear; just like we couldnt see Santa. I remember thinking that when I had children Id want Mum to tell these amazing stories. Shed had them stored, adapting them for different scenarios. When I listened that day I wished I was younger, still believing in the magical spirit of childhood. It was a deep-rooted feeling. One that had nested with me since my discovery that Santa didnt exist (all because of Hannah Johnson, who hit me and told me I was stupid for believing such a ridiculous story). When Mum explained the truth, it wasnt only Santa that disappeared; the enchantment of childhood and that special ability to believe in anything also vanished.

Choosing to immerse myself in the childhood atmosphere of Lampford Park, I joined Libby on the swings, slides and roundabout. We fed bread to the ducks, carrots to the deer and lettuce to the rabbits. We devoured soft chocolate ice-cream which trickled with

chocolate sauce, chocolate sprinkles and a chocolate flake - absolute luxury. We ran through the water fountains, tasting the splashes that bounced against our skin. Our clothes were soaked right through. Mum and Dad watched us from the edge, their arms linked together, enjoying our squeals of exhilaration. Over-excitement unleashed our deviant side as we dragged Dad by the arms, pulling him into the water jets. Libby and I laughed hysterically as he chased us through the shower of cold, refreshing water.

On the journey home we all (except Mum) had to take off our clothes. Libby and I were down to our pants. Poor Dad had to strip off too: his shirt and trousers were soaking wet. Mum wrapped me and Libby tightly in blankets as fatigue engulfed us. I remember closing my eyes as they joked about hoping they didnt have an accident or get pulled by the police.

What would they think? Mum laughed.

It was decided that fish and chips would end the day nicely. Mum dropped us off at home with strict instructions to get our pyjamas on, ready for a cosy and warm night. It was mine and Libbys job to rummage through our collection of videos and pick a suitable film for us all. It was always one of the Disney collection which Libby decided upon.

Usually Dad would have done the fish-and-chip run, but because wed well and truly drenched him, Mum insisted she go. I still wonder to this day: if we hadnt soaked him, would she still be here?

I wanted to ask the policeman that, as he sat with Dad in the lounge, relaying the news that Mum had been involved in a car accident.

She didnt make the fish and chip shop.

She died.

Instantly, they said.


I think Im pregnant.


I know.

You think? Suzy smiled. So you might not be.

Youre right, I might not be, but Im four days late.

Thats nothing. Sometimes Im a week late. Optimism shone from her eyes, her gentleness always present as she relaxed back in her chair.

Im never late and I feel so ill.

You wouldnt be ill after four days, would you?

Some of my customers say they knew as soon as it happened.


I nodded, raising my eyes at the absurdity that a woman would know when one of her eggs had been impregnated. With flashes of how and when it could have happened piercing through my mind, I asked, Can you remember that ball I went to with Max?

God, how could I forget? Suzy groaned and we both laughed at the memory of me dragging her around Newcastle, York and Leeds, looking for the perfect dress. I was so nervous about meeting Maxs work colleagues for the first time. I wanted them to be impressed, or I didnt want Max to be embarrassed; I wasnt sure which was the more important. I knew I had to look my best: a scruffy beauty therapist is never a good advert. Wed shopped for weeks on end, but it was worth it: Max commented, as did most of his colleagues, about how stunning I looked. It didnt stop the nerves, though.

Well, remember I told you I was that nervous, I drank too much and threw up in the toilets before the meal was served?

I still cant believe Max doesnt know about that. Suzy laughed. Then suddenly, her smile vanished. But that was, what? Seven, eight weeks ago? Did you miss last months

You remember a few weekends back we went to the Lakes?

Of course. Its when I met Michael, she giggled, like a teenager.

Anyway, I took two packs of pills back to back so I wouldnt have my period whilst we were away.

Good thinking.

Well, now Im due on and four days later its still not happening.

But, if youve taken two packs together this can delay it, cant it?

I think so, but I dont think Id be this late. I ran my hand through my dark mane, the shine and texture inherited from Mum, the colour from Dad. Plus, I feel so sick, my boobs hurt, and theyre bigger. I thought it was because Id taken two packs of pills, but I know its not.

You dont know for sure.

Im sure enough - and I dont know what the hell to do about it. Tears formed and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Have you talked to Max?

Not yet. Theres no point saying anything if Im not. I sipped my coffee, trying to calm my nerves.

Right, come on. Lets go.

Where to?

To buy a test. Suzy was already out of her seat as I sat stubbornly in mine. Not only was my sofa the most comfortable place to be, Id had the day from hell.





About the author

Victoria J.Brown is a chick-lit author. While studying for her MA in Creative Writing she won a short story competition judged by Adele Parks. Although, Victoria holds a MA, she sees herself as a storyteller not a literary writer.

She is passionate about people following their dreams. She has written Annual Inspirational Books which provide daily motivational messages. Also being a qualified wedding planner and Managing Director of Calm Weddings, she has written 3 weddings books.

Author Links




twitter: @victoriajbrown




Please note that while How My Life Became Chaos is touring, if readers buy a copy of the book and send proof of purchase to the author, they will be sent an ecopy of Daily Inspirational Messages 2014.

The giveaway on this tour is 1, 2 and 3 of the Chaos series in one signed paperback copy.

My Review

Having really enjoyed this book I find it hard to believe that this is Victoria J Brown’s first novel as the writing just flows and the style is very accomplished. It’s an easy to read novel and although I’ve seen it described as chick-lit, the topics it deals with are very serious and sympathetically treated.

I loved the characters and the way that the reader is drawn into their lives. There are some amusing incidents such as when Kat first meets Max. That scene had me giggling to myself as it reminded me perhaps of when I was younger. As I was in a public place when I was reading the book I did get a few funny looks though. There are also serious moments and I did feel a tear form in the corner of my eye which I had to quickly wipe away.

All in all very realistic characters who are facing difficult decisions in their lives. The way they develop and interact with each other will leave you wanting to read more. Looking forward to the next in the series.


My rating








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Karen dickens | Reply 09.04.2014 14.51

Loved these books defo 5/5

Julie Ryan 09.04.2014 17.19

Glad you enjoyed them Karen

Shaz Goodwin | Reply 08.04.2014 18.31

Fab review Julie :)

Thank you for taking part in Vicky's tour.


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Latest comments

Yesterday | 22:25

Wonderful review, for a wonderful lady and Author.

Yesterday | 20:12

Great review for an equally great book by Mary

Yesterday | 18:26

When reading all the reviews I just can not wait to read this for myself. I adore stories of hardship and how they unfold and hopefully have a good ending.

Yesterday | 17:22

Another great review for a brilliant author.

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